What are stories but remembrances of events. One important element to being a collector of Familylore is to recognize that there are stories that may be painful to remember.
Living so close to Quebec I cannot help thinking about those who lost their daughter, sister, colleague, friend on December 6th at Montreal's EcolePolytechnique. In 1989 a man gunned down 14 women Montreal's Ecolepolytechnique. He had left a letter that explained his reasons, they were women.
It is important to help others keep these stories from becoming invisible. A scan of newspapers and sites brought little to bear regarding this historical and horrible part of our history. I was especially disappointed with the Status of Women Canada site that had a few paragraphs and little else. There was a time when this site had everything a community needed to mark this "National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women In Canada".
Gift giving at this time of year is always a challenge. What do we give those who have what they need or want. How can you make yours and their Festive Season even more unique? Is it possible to give a gift so special that it can enhance the holidays for your family? My answer is YES!
Consider giving Familore. It is the quintessential treasure of your family's story. When they began, where you have been and where you all are today. The Holiday Season is fast approaching and without speaking a word members of your family are remembering. It may be the weather, the sights, the sounds, the buzz in the Mall, what ever it is we all have thoughts of earlier Christmases or Festive Seasons.
Your aunt could be remembring her first Christmas as a parent. Little brother is reminded of the first pair of skates he was given. Grandmother still remembers the smell the cookies and pies spread throughout the house. Dad worried over finding the right tree and Mom was making sure the presents were under the tree before the children got up.
Encourage the recounting of your family's stories. They all have their images, their memories and these pulled together and shared become your Familore.
Begin this year. Start with a few stories, a few remembrances and soon you will discover the treasure that is Familore. Call a member of your family and begin to collect their stories. You can record these in many ways. Audio, video, even typed up in Word with a seasonal image watermark will help you capture the story. You can later add these to a CD and distribute copies to family members. Every year you can add to it. Old photos, maps, charts, children's drawings and cards can now be collected as never before.
You know who you are! The one in a family gathering that asks all the questions. The person most likely to wonder when our family first cut a tree for the holidays. There is one in every family. Is is curiosity, concern or just being inquisitive, inquiring minds want to know. But remember this is, it is all up to you.
Familylore is like that. We all have it, we all use it and no one tells about it. That is where the family teller comes in. The Festive Season is one of the most popular times of the year to record such stories. Are they interviews? Will they bring up bad memories? You never know, you can only be sure that you are asking in order to preserve, encourage and share your Familylore.
The next time you are in the kitchen helping to stuff a bird, bake a pie or sugar cookies pull out your recorder, and ask open questions to your mom, grandmother, grandfather, sister, brother, nephew,niece or other.
Mom Dad : What did you do on your first Christmas together?
Sis: How did you decide to become _____________?
Neighbour: Remember Grandad, and his gardening, what was his favorite flower?
These and other open ended questions will help get the story started.
It began with the grandfather clock chiming noon, and Mom and Dad sitting on the sofa while I explained my assignment. This was the setting for one of the most powerful telling sessions I ever took part in.
As an undergraduate at York University I was studying with Dr. Carol Carpenter. She had given her students the task of asking our parents how they met. No closed or leading questions and no feeding answers. They were to tell their story. and you as the recorder collect them.
I began by setting them down in the living room in their condo. Tea and chocolates were placed on the coffee table and the sun streamed into the room making it feel more than a little surreal. As one of eight children I had been the first to make the request. Mom and Dad just were. They met, fell in love, and got married. That was our version.
Mom giggled and Dad laughed at the serious way I was approaching this but soon we were in it. Dad started sharing his experience as a soldier in New Brunwick stationed in Moncton.
"She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Sitting with her friends in a restaurant I was across the room having lunch with another soldier. He laughed at me when I said "I'm going to marry that girl". Dad got back to base and requested a transfer. It took a year but he did get back, spotted who would become my Mom on the street with a group of friends. He introduced himself and within 6 weeks they were married.
That's the magic of familore. It never gets old. And everytime you tell it it gets newer still.
Gail DeVos, Adjunct Associate Professor in the School of Library and Information Studies at the University of Alberta. Her courses include storytelling and literature for children and YA (young adults). Having recently read Gail's first book Storytelling for Young Adults: Techniques and Treasury I appreciated how this teller made the reader feel the power in themselves to share their stories. More important still , she provides ideas and techniques for new tellers to help others bring forward their stories.
It's Easter 1961, and my sister and I receive our new patten leather shoes to go with our new dresses. Our dresses are in the same colours as always, purple for her and green for me. Asked why we had these colours Mom replied, "Green for your eyes and purple for your sister's bold nature."
How and why these determinations were made were not explored.
Holidays can give us more time to reflect. Reflect about a time, a place, a moment when you were entrenched into a story. Take a moment and think back. Think back to a time when you sat quietly listening to someone telling you a story.
Step into that moment. Now look into the eyes of the teller. It may have been your mother or perhaps grandmother answering a question you posed or explaining a particular event about the family and its origins. Try and visualize where you were and what was going on around you. Can you hear the words spoken?
The imagary playing before you are scenes from a life, a life that belongs to your history, your family, they are your familore. These scenes might describe how you came to be part of this family, who you take after and what caracteristics you have that connect you to that member.
Other scenes may tell of moving to a new town, starting a new job and even resettling back home and what it meant to the family.
These and other stories make up familore. Through the telling of these stories we gain invaluable insights into our history, our past and in a way our future.
